~ Short-funny.com. My socks got really holy … I can only wear them to church. I have an idea for a chain of Elvis steak houses. It will be for people who love meat tender. You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.

● People are making Apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow. ● My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met. I’m not buying it. ● The Middle Ages were called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights. ● A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

~ Jack Herbert. A lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. ~ Ambrose gordon ryan weight gain Bierce. Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present.

~ Arthur C. Clarke. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~ Oscar Wilde.

● Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing “Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor.” ● Pastor is on vacation.

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